Just going away from my usual topics (ManU cheating, Gordon Brown being useless, ManU cheating, Refs favouring ManU, ManU cheating, Swine flu, ManU cheating, PL being corrupt, ManU cheating, Christiano Ronaldo falling over (again), ManU cheating.... I think you get the gist) at the moment, I thought I would bring up Soap Watch to rear its ugly little head, again.

 

It has been a while, and let me just say that it has been confirmed that the gorgeous Jessica Lucas will be in Melrose Place (Damn!  I knew I would get her in the post somewhere... God I am good, psychic you see (note to ones self.... you write the bloody thing!))  I am not gonna slag it off, not until I at least catch a glimpse, then I will lay into it if its required, but anything with Jessica in cannot be bad.... (note to ones self.... *cough* 90210 *cough*.... damn!  She was good though, and damned fine, as per).  **Queue Scrubs-like weird dream sequence

 

Oh thats enough of that, snap out of it man.....

 

Where was I (Manu cheating, probably....)?  Ah, yes.  Soaps.  I have been keeping a close eye on them (and please forgive if I go off on a tangent (not like me at all!) onto some comedy, and also if I miss stuff out due to the fact it has been soooo long since my last soap watch).

 

Now where do I start?  Well I haven't mentioned Gavin & Stacey yet (that's a comedy for those who do not know... I would ask why not?!?!?) and I must say it is hilariously funny, and Matt Horne posts on Twitter (http://twitter.com/mfhorne) but James Cordon does not.  I haven't seen their series on BBC3 yet, but I may make a point of watching it in the near future.

 

Just a quick note, the guy who plays Archie in EastEnders (Larry Lamb) stars as Gavin's father in it and is very funny.

 

Which brings me nicely onto EastEnders, see Archie has now left (hopefully for good, nasty piece of work that Archie Mitchell, the way he was turning Peggy into a carbon copy of his previous women) after Phil pretended to kill him only to let him go and to never return otherwise he would kill him.

 

He also managed to keep Ronnie away from her daughter Amy (Danielle) until the, very literally in Danielles (Amy) case, bitter end.  You see, that night of the wedding, Danielle (Amy) finally loses it and decides to tell everyone how she is Ronnies daughter, Amy (Danielle) - anymore of this and I am gonna lose it - of course, Ronnie does not believe Danielle (Amy), until she finds a necklace left in her glass by Danielle (Amy).  By then, though, it was far too late as Amy (Danielle) had stormed out in a fit of pique, Ronnie chased after her shouting Amy (Danielle), Amy (Danielle), Amy (Danielle).  Eventually she shouted "I believe you" to Danielle (Amy), at which point Amy (Danielle) turned and started to walk to the rather distraught Ronnie (Ronnie ).  Amy (Danielle) then started to cross back towards her when everybodies favourite female soap baddy, Janine (yes she is back and has been for a while), came speeding along and hit Danielle (Amy(Danielle(Amy(Danielle)))) - ARGH!!!

 

*** I am about to queue a psychotic schizophrenic episode that we are going to go through..... we are going to go through..... hmmm maybe it has already started?

 

Well, Amy (Danielle) died in the arms of the now mourning Ronnie, what a horrific end to what turned out to be a brilliant storyline.  Apparently, the BBC, quite rightly so in my eyes, got thousands of complaints!

 

Whats this though?  Janine shows she has got a heart afterall?  She is horrified that she killed someone!  (This being the same Janine that killed her own husband to get his money, if anyone (...can be ar*ed to...) remember that far back?)

 

Back to Archie and his non-death.  Well, Peggy was under the impression that Phil was, and indeed had, killed Archie (which is what she wanted).  When Phil came clean Peggy went banana's (even more so than usual) and more or less dis-owned Phil.

 

Phil Mitchell, being that he is a recovering alcoholic in a soap did the only righteous and obvious thing available, he fell off the wagon!  Seriously, Phil Mitchell has fallen off the wagon soooo many times that the wagon does not know whether it is coming or going!  In fact, as I speak, the wagon itself is opening it's sixteenth whiskey bottle of the day (probably joined by ginsoak after watching his horrible little club cheat themselves to another win).

 

In his drunken stupor, he decides it is time to start humping Shelley, whom has been afterhim for ages now.  Well, having found that he has started drinking again, probably due to the fact he decided he wanted to have his wicked way, she did the only thing a good friend would do to someone who is a recovering alcoholic whom has just fallen off the wagon, she bought him more.   Hmmm.... humping Shelley..... OMG!  Just the thought!  I need a pub.... quick!

 

In the meantime, it seems Nick Cotton has made a re-appearance to try to hurry things up and get his daughter (talk about fecking devil-spawn), Dotty (nutty more like), to kill off Dot so he can get his horrible little hands on her money!

 

Good news though, Lauren is back!  She got away with trying to kill Max, her own father!

 

At this point, I am gonna have to leave EastEnders behind for now as I really cannot stand it anymore, my head is about to explode.  It feels like someone has hit me in the head with a rock.....

 

Which brings me nicely onto Home And Away (you'll see).

 

Let me start by saying H&A may have gone a bit controversial, you see Joey and Charlie are going to have a relationship, and have shared two on-screen kisses.  Joey and Charlie are both women.  All of a sudden, Home and Away is a lot more interesting LOL.

 

Now I have that over and done with, I will go onto what happened to Roman.  He made the massive mistake of going out with Leah!  As I have mentioned in previous soap watches getting married to Leah (or the long-since departed Sally) usually meant in an untimely death for the groom at some point during his short married life.  It seems that since the writers have lost one avenue, by Sally leaving, they needed something else to allow for almost unnatural death and destruction to a poor and unsuspecting man.  What could they do to poor Roman?

 

Get married to Belle?  No, she has turned into a neurotic who is constantly high on some sort of medication, and besides she is in the middle of destroying bad-boy-gone-good Aden Jeffries fragile mind and emotional state.

 

How about Irene Philips?  Nope, she is too old really.  Besides, she has found someone and I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy!  (Although I would gladly feed anyone associated with a certain football club to her).

 

Oh well, one thing left to do.... make it so you don't have to marry Leah to have something happen, just make going out with her enough.  Poor Conrad Coleby (Roman Harris) must have seen the part of the script that says "start relationship with Leah" and thought what have I done to be sacked?  Well, they went on a date only for Roman to be hit by a rock kindly slingshotted by Brendan whilst Leah was doing the driving.

 

It was touch and go for a bit, but Roman survived only to find out he is now blind, apparently more through mental trauma than physical harm.  Don't worry though Conrad, the writers have put in that you are to dump Leah.  Someone has survived!  Hallelujah!

 

Anyways, I was going to write something about Neighbours and Coronation Street, but thought I would leave that until...

 

a - I have time

b - I actually watch them again!

 

Later peeps, hope you enjoyed this edition of Soap Watch.

Now I am showing a resemblance of calm about yesterday having been robbed by seemingly dirty and corrupt referees... (yes you Howard Webb) and by certain clubs getting penalties that are so obviously not penalties and how often can there players (particularly a horrible gimp who wears the number 7) get away with kicking players?

 

And anyone whom thinks that United are not looked upon favourably.... seriously, open your eyes, smell the coffee and realise that their is absolutely no conflict of interest whatsoever with David Gill.... oh hang on....

 

Anyways, need to stop before I really start ripping them a new ar*e hole.  We accuse Italian football of being corrupt?  Seriously, we need to have the Premier League investigated, Man United get far too many dodgy decisions for it to be innocent.

 

Lets look at it this way, when the Premier League was conceived, both the PL and Sky decided, by the looks, that Man United would be the flagship club, all you have to do is see how there revenue sky rocketed all in one season compared to others.  It wasn't just down to marketing, there fanbase then like now is less than Liverpools.  It was a vested interest.  Yes Alex Ferguson, may have wanted to "knock us off our f*cking perch", but he has, seemingly, had a fair bit of help along the way.  I am talking about the officials, of course.

 

For instance, yesterday was a classic example, and for once I agree with Harry Redknapp, if that penalty was not given, no way on God's green Earth would United have scored.  It changed the whole game, and shocked Spurs, quite rightly so as well, it was never a penalty in a month of Sundays.  At one point you could almost hear Howard Webb say to the United players, just fall over and you'll get a pen.

 

Then, some of the yellow cards that got given to Spurs players were a disgrace especially when you realise, that for the fourth time, at least, this season Ronaldo got away with kicking an opposition player.

 

Don't get me wrong, no team is completely innocent of getting away with things, but the decisions that ManU get are nothing short of corrupt and criminal.

 

Yes, some people may call me jealous, why?  We (Liverpool) are still the most successful club in England.  I believe under Rafa we will win our 19th League title before ManU (we still have a chance this season), and considering the amount of help that they have had I am surprised that it took them this long.  Why would I be jealous of winning a league with that amount of help (cheating?), I don't know?

 

Anyways, off my high horse!

 

The Hull/Liverpool match!  Well, despite winning 1-3, we did not play our best football, luckily we didn't have to.  Torres was off the boil a bit, as was the whole team, I think that the Arsenal match may have taken a little bit of spirit out of us, but have not given up!

 

For a reasonably maligned player, Kuyt has scored his fair share of important goals, two of which came yesterday.  The other goal was an absolute screamer from Alonso after his freekick hit the wall the first time.

 

All we need is for a certain other team to get an impartial referee three times and they may not win those three particular games.

Well, let me paint the picture for you.  Yesterday started off reasonably well, here, sat at work things went okay.  The living hell that I experienced the day before, which I fixed, worked a treat!

 

Then lunch time came and went.  Someone then reminded me the budget had been and gone.

 

I read, with much dismay (almost as much dismay as an actor on Home & Away going out with/getting engaged to/married to Leah, poor Roman, more on that later though), the budget on News BBC website.

 

Sometimes, I just wish I lived in bliss ignorance!

 

Thinking, naively, that even Labour wouldn't be that stupid/thick/useless as to lumber people with extra tax at this point in a very serious economic issue, compounded it must be said by Labour's idiotic policies (seriously, a 12 year-old has a better idea than those lot), yet they did not disappoint me!

 

Lets start about the beginning of Labour's reign, 1997.  What Labour do not advertise is that they received an economy in excellent shape (shaped by Maggie it must be said after she dragged us out of the, for want of a better word, poop Labour left us in in the 70's) which consisted of massive gold reserve and a £60Billion surplus.

 

Now, by not advertising this little known fact they were able to do what they are good at doing, squander it, or pee it up a wall if you like.  They wanted to make themselves look good, to make it look like they had created a term of economic stability, nope it was a falsehood all done by squandering what they received (this is my take on it by the way, but cannot see another reason as to why, as I have seen actually no improvement in public services apart from an insane ability to squander money on roles that are just not needed).

 

Well, the chickens have come home to roost!

 

With that we could have weathered the storm we now have.  Instead, mixing Labours profligeracy and their want to make themselves look good, have left us with absolutely nothing!  Nowt!  Nadda!

 

The actual budget itself.... hmmm.... it is very hard to know where to start.  They have increased tax on alcohol (again), cigarettes (again) and, my personal bug-bear, fuel!

 

Not only that but they have increased tax on high-earners (150K plus) to 50%!  Now I do not mean to bleat, but it is simple economics, and proof, that in the past by decreasing tax they have actually increased the amount of tax they collect!  Reason being, more people stop trying to avoid paying it.  Simple.... bleeding morons.

 

Now, fuel tax.  Well, lets just say for a country, and indeed people, who are in dire straights it astounds me how Labour have decided that they are adding 2p a litre from September and then for the next four years, in the month of April, an automatic increase at 1p above the rate of inflation!  Fools!  The lot of them!

 

They know we will not get out of our cars, they have assured themselves on that one by making sure we have to rely on them.  And don't get me started on the "green movement", another self-interested, power hungry movement.  If you dig deep instead of just believing what we are cornfed like the battery hens we are, you will find that human activity is only responsible for 3.5% of all greenhouse gas emissions and that all car usage from around the World is only responsible for 0.6% of that figure.  You start to get a rough idea.  Oh, and one other little point that the green lobby also neglect to mention, their "god", the hockey-stick graph, is the wrong way round.  You see, the rise in greenhouse gases, particularly CO2, is FOLLOWING temperature rise!  Not the way we are being led to believe.

 

(I could go on about how the Ross Ice Shelf is increasing by a net of 20megatons a year etc etc, but I won't, this is not what this blog is about, how sea levels are not actually rising (the ice that is melting is floating on water, so an increase will not happen, simple physics)).

 

Do not fall foul of one of their carrots, though.  The £2000 incentive to scrap your old car (over 10 years) and buy a new one is a double edged sword.  You see, with your old car you are on the old, and cheaper, tax bands, with a new one you will be on, Labour hope, one of the higher ones so they can collect more money out of you!

 

However, where tax is concerned, this government will not miss a trick in the opportunity to use it as an "incentive" or "excuse" or "justifiability".

 

Going off-topic a little bit, did you know that over it's entire life-cycle, from build to scrap, the Toyota Prius is less environmentally friendly than one of those "green lobby" "devil" cars, a Land Rover Discovery?  Really quite funny.

 

Did you also know that a BMW M5 on a motorway doing 70 mph is more efficient than a Prius?

 

Anyways, I am going drastically off-topic here.

 

In short, this budget just re-iterates what we already knew, Labour need to get out of office!

 

Anyone for a protest?

Just a quick note to let you know that I am on Twitter ( http://twitter.com/LiverpoolFan74 ) and now have a YouTube channel ( http://www.youtube.com/user/LiverpoolFan74 ).

 

I only have a couple of retro gaming vids up there (YouTube) at the moment, but am endeavouring to get more up and running soon.

Hello everybody, hope all is well.

 

I haven't blogged much lately, but I am planning on doing so much more very soon.

Please remember the 96 who tragically lost their lives at Hillsborough and spare a thought for their families.

 

RIP and YNWA!

Let me just say that I am proud, despite the loss, of our team!  Liverpool played with fluency, sportsmanship and never cheated... unlike another team I could mention.

 

Another thing I must say, I must congratulate Chelsea's man of the match, the referee.  Never have I seen such a great performance for a team than that man right there!  Well done, bravo.... moron.

 

You see, whilst everytime Drogba went down, again, like he had been shot, again, Lucas got almost torn into two by Malouda and guess what happened.... nothing.... in fact Chelsea went on to score!  Malouda, if that was in public, could have got done for attempted murder!  It was horrendous.

 

Not only that, but everybodies favourite footballer, yes thats right Didier Drogba, was injured off the pitch, but managed to roll himself on to not only stop play, but then made, yet another, miraculous recovery!  Even a Chelsea supporter said it's brilliant, Drogba has recovered from so many career threatening injuries during matches that it's like watching a miracle every game!  That sums it up really.

 

Well, the scoring started with a brilliant, McAllister-esque, free-kick from Aurelio, followed by a penalty from Alonso.  At this point Chelsea were rocking, they could not live with us and this game summed up why I believe we deserve to win at least the league this season.  We are playing the best attacking football of any team at any point during this season, no doubt about it.  And all this without Steven Gerrard, and without, what I believe, players that Rafa would like to have!

 

Amazing, truely amazing.

 

Last night shows why Liverpool are unique, even during some barren years I have never thought that any club (and I am including supporters in the word club) could match Liverpool FC.  Last night shows why I love this club!

 

This season, no matter how much the odds are stacked against us, we seem to be able to pull the rabbit out of the hat, unfortunately, last nights rabbit turned out to be a Chelsea-sympathetic referee!  Yes, we gave ourselves a lot to do after a rather lacklustre performance last week.  However, yet again we put four goals past a team that according to the media are way ahead of us.  Not so.

 

You know, even if we do not win the league this season, I think we will next season.  We deserve it this season, but as Rafa said, ManU get too much protection and get away with all sorts, as did Chelsea last night.  A shame.

 

Never mind.  At least our players, in defeat, can walk away with their heads held high, unlike the opponents as "winners".

 

EDIT: I know I jump from Champions League to Premier League, but it's all relevant to what I am trying to get at.

I was inspired by a thread on a football forum that I frequent regarding this, so thought I would post mine on hear (along with some new ones)......

 

A brand new series of posts/blogs/ramblings (delete as you feel applicable ).....

 

If you can think of any, please leave a comment (I will do more instances later)...

 

 

 

Are all your men/women (delete as applicable) easy?

 

In your internet policy, is porn out of the question?

 

Hey honey, would you like to see my elephant?

 

Hi, my name is Charles Manson.

 

Bloody hell!  After walking around your office, I have to ask, how do you not w*nk yourself stupid?

 

I've pulled a sicky to come to this interview....

 

I love fires, I hope you like fires.....

 

My previous boss didn't like us as he thought we are schizophrenic.....

 

Yes, I have f**king tourettes, you f**king w**king t*t!

 

Oh yes, I was director of Northern Rock and then I went onto RBS, I think I would do very well as Director here.  What is your pension like?

 

If you are looking for someone who looks extremely busy at all times whilst doing feck all, and someone who sounds like they know what they are talking about yet knows nothing, then I am your person!

 

Phwoar, you look like you are dirty!

 

Do you allow birthday suits on dress down day?

 

Am I the only person who looks good in here?