I was going to log this under the section "Food And Drink", but thought it would be more apt under entertainment!  It will all become very clear sooner rather than later LOL!

 

Anyways, I got away from work at 3PM Friday (Well deserved considering the bleeding hours that I have been putting in lately) and thought I would try out the Sat Nav I purchased again.  I had a rough idea where the hotel was that I was staying in, but just wanted to make sure.

 

So, I programmed the Sat Nav, double checked the programming, nay, triple checked the programming of destination and told it to only for it to first off attempt to send me to Manchester Airport and then fecking Widnes!  Widnes for crying out loud!  Luckily I had a rough idea where abouts I was going otherwise I would have been stuffed!  It was only when I was literally five minutes away from the flaming hotel that it decided it actually wanted to take me to where I wanted to go!

 

Bleeding moronic piece of rubbish, almost got flung again!

 

Anyways, I got to the hotel, and whilst cheap, it was quite good and clean.  The bathroom was very small though.   Managed to get a shower and a shave but it was a squeeze LOL.

 

I got to Tiger Tiger in the Printworks for 6:30 (first one to arrive as usual), we were due to meet at 7PM.

 

However, I started to get nervous when it went way past 7PM and nobody had shown up, and I had the wrong mobile so didn't have anyones phone number!  Oops!

 

I stayed well put though, had a couple before the others arrived, but arrived they did!  What a hoot!

 

The night started well enough, and this is where it got entertaining.  There was this young couple, not sure if they had only just met or what, but they were into each other come what may.  It all started innocently enough, they were just snogging a bit.  We have all done that in a pub at one time or another.  She was absolutely drunk though, as was the lad.  Then they started to really snog!  I don't just mean the "Yeah, I like you sort", I mean the "I am going to have you right here, right now!"

 

They were both completely oblivious to two things, one the fact everyone were laughing at them and two, the two poor girls who were sat directly opposite them whom got so embarrassed by the whole situation that they actually moved!  Next, he got in front of her, still kissing her but now she wrapped her legs around him.  It was getting a bit, erm, steamy!  LOL

 

Not only that, they were at a window seat so they were in full view of passers by!  Anyways, they stopped and got up to leave, at which point the whole pub erupted in a show of clapping, they looked at everyone as if to wonder what they were being clapped for!  (Hmmm, yes I wonder? - Ed)  (Oh, and you idiot, your camera can film video and you forgot to do it to show everyone - Ed)  (He isn't as cruel as you - Axe Wielding Ant)

 

Then, we left to go somewhere else and we went to this club which I cannot remember the name of, but when my mate bought a round it did cost £39.50!  We had a brilliant time in there though, I even danced and that is not like me!

 

Having said that, I did once win a bottle of champagne dancing to Thriller LOL!!!

 

Eventually, I got back to the hotel at between 2:30AM and 3:00AM armed with a foot long Italian subway filled with meatballs, cheese, jalopeno peppers and chilli sauce!  That went down a treat I can tell you, especially since I hadn't eaten since lunch time!

 

What a brilliant night, really enjoyed it!

Tonight is going to be fun, you see, I am going out in Manchester!  Believe it or not, I have never been out there!  Really looking forward to it!

 

Living It Large in Manchester and will enjoy every moment of it!

 

It's been a while since I have been on a night out full stop!

 

 

Oh, because I am unable to look after the site tonight properly, and because I have had some WUM (Wind Up Merchant) numpties come on, I will be making the site read-only tonight.

 

Thanks

2007/2008 Premier League Champions - Manchester United

Champions League Qualification - Chelsea

Champions League Qualification - Arsenal

Champions League Qualification - Liverpool

UEFA Cup Qualification - Everton

 

2007/2008 Premier League Relegation - Reading

 

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Champions League Runners Up - Chelsea

 

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The above summary will make great reading for some, depressing for others and down right astonishing for a fair few.  I will put some general bits and pieces in this season review but, on the whole, this season review will be specific to the greatest English club side of all time, Liverpool.

 

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Premier League - 11/08/2007 - Aston Villa 1-2 Liverpool

Champions League - 15/08/2007 - Toulouse 0-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 19/08/2007 - Liverpool 1-1 Chelsea

Premier League - 25/08/2007 - Sunderland 0-2 Liverpool

Champions League - 28/08/2007 - Liverpool 4-0 Toulouse

Premier League - 01/09/2007 - Liverpool 6-0 Derby

Premier League - 15/09/2007 - Portsmouth 0-0 Liverpool

Champions League - 18/09/2007 - Porto 1-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 22/09/2007 - Liverpool 0-0 Birmingham

Carling Cup - 25/09/2007 - Reading 2-4 Liverpool

Premier League - 29/09/2007 - Wigan 0-1 Liverpool

Champions League - 03/10/2007 - Liverpool 0-1 Marseille

Premier League - 07/10/2007 - Liverpool 2-2 Tottenham

Premier League - 20/10/2007 - Everton 1-2 Liverpool

Champions League - 24/10/2007 - Besiktas 2-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 28/10/2007 - Liverpool 1-1 Arsenal

Carling Cup - 31/10/2007 - Liverpool 2-1 Cardiff

Premier League - 03/11/2007 - Blackburn 0-0 Liverpool

Champions League - 06/11/2007 - Liverpool 8-0 Besiktas

Premier League - 10/11/2007 - Liverpool 2-0 Fulham

Premier League - 24/11/2007 - Newcastle United 0-3 Liverpool

Champions League - 28/11/2007 - Liverpool 4-1 Porto

Premier League - 02/12/2007 - Liverpool 4-0 Bolton

 Premier League - 08/12/2007 - Reading 3-1 Liverpool

Champions League - 11/12/2007 - Marseliie 0-4 Liverpool

 Premier League - 16/12/2007 - Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United

Carling Cup - 19/12/2007 - Chelsea 2-0 Liverpool

Premier League - 22/12/2007 - Liverpool 4-1 Portsmouth

Premier League - 26/12/2007 - Derby 1-2 Liverpool

Premier League - 30/12/2007 - Manchester City 0-0 Liverpool

Premier League - 02/01/2008 - Liverpool 1-1 Wigan

FA Cup - 06/01/2008 - Luton 1-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 12/01/2008 - Middlesbrough 1-1 Liverpool

FA Cup - 15/01/2008 - Liverpool 5-0 Luton

Premier League - 21/01/2008 - Liverpool 2-2 Aston Villa

FA Cup - 26/01/2008 - Liverpool 5-2 Havant & Waterlooville

Premier League - 30/01/2008 - West Ham United 1-0 Liverpool

Premier League - 02/02/2008 - Liverpool 3-0 Sunderland

Premier League - 10/02/2008 - Chelsea 0-0 Liverpool

FA Cup - 16/02/2008 - Liverpool 1-2 Barnsley

Champions League - 19/02/2008 - Liverpool 2-0 Inter Milan

Premier League - 23/02/2008 - Liverpool 3-2 Middlesbrough

 Premier League - 02/03/2008 - Bolton 1-3 Liverpool

Premier League - 05/03/2008 - Liverpool 4-0 West Ham United

 Premier League - 08/03/2008 - Liverpool 3-0 Newcastle United

Champions League - 11/03/2008 - Inter Milan 0-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 15/03/2008 - Liverpool 2-1 Reading

Premier League - 23/03/2008 - Manchester United 3-0 Liverpool

Premier League - 30/03/2008 - Liverpool 1-0 Everton

Champions League - 02/04/2008 - Arsenal 1-1 Liverpool

Premier League - 05/04/2008 - Arsenal 1-1 Liverpool

Champions League - 08/04/2008 - Liverpool 4-2 Arsenal

Premier League - 13/04/2008 - Liverpool 3-1 Blackburn Rovers

Premier League - 19/04/2008 - Fulham 0-2 Liverpool

Champions League - 22/04/2008 - Liverpool 1-1 Chelsea

Premier League - 26/04/2008 - Birmingham 2-2 Liverpool

Champions League - 30/04/2008 - Chelsea 3-2 Liverpool

Premier League - 04/05/2008 - Liverpool 1-0 Manchester City

Premier League - 11/05/2008 - Tottenham Hotspur 0-2 Liverpool

 

 

Let me start by saying congratulations to the various winners (yes, behind gritted teeth that includes Manchester United), and commiserations to the losers (ie relegated/runners-up).  Everyone had there part to play in what has been an extremely traumatic season for some, especially if you happen to be a Liverpool fan like yours truely.  (Really?  You know, if you hadn't mentioned it, we would never have guessed! - Ed)

 

I have a feeling that this review will be largely based around what happened at our wonderful club, not only on the pitch but off the pitch as well, which is, in itself, a relatively sad indictment of the current owners/ownership.  It has been more like an episode of Fawlty Towers than Liverpool Football Club.  I will also be going into the positives, mainly Fernando Torres!

 

Well, the start of the season started with a buzz, we had just reached our second Champions League Final in three seasons.  Our Champions League record has been second to none under Rafa, two finals, one win, three semis and the Champions League in 2005-2006 season made the last 16 (the only true blip in that competition as such).

 

This season, everything started nice and rosey!  I mean at one point we were the only unbeaten side in the Premier League if I remember rightly.  Going great guns in the league, got through a potential banana skin in Toulouse in the Champions League Qualifiers, and we got Fernando Torres!  Oh, Fernando Torres!  I will talk in more depth about Torres later.

 

Ryan Babel as well.  Whilst not having quite the same impact, he is a fair bit younger than Torres and really does look like a rough diamond at times.  However, he has shown some excellent glimpses of what he will be capable of!  And boy, is he fast!  He is quite possibly the only player in the league who is as fast as Torres.  Oh, Fernando Torres!

 

So, we had a game against Chelsea at Anfield which we ran rings around and managed to only draw through, what was, quite possibly, one of the worse penalty decisions I have seen in a long time!  (If I remember rightly).  Oh, and that goal by Fernando Torres, skinned the defender and then slotted past the goallie like he was a Sunday League goalkeeper never mind arguably one of the best in the League, if not Europe (along with our own Reina, of course).  That was a cameo for some of the goals that we were about to witness from him in the coming months!  And we were not disappointed!  Oh, (..... do shut up! - Ed)

 

Yes, I believe that referee got to referee some games in the lower divisions for a while, and quite rightly so!

 

We then, after some brilliant wins, went through a period of having three draws on the trott, and this was to prove our issue throughout the season, the amount of draws we got.  I wouldn't mind but a fair number of those draws (and indeed losses) we outplayed the opposition, non more evident than the likes of Chelsea and Manchester United at Anfield. 

 

Oh yes, let me have a quick rant about the away fixture with Manchester United.  How can one team have so many people kick the daylights out of one player (Torres, and to his credit he kept going) and manage to get away with it?  And yet the minute, the absolute minute Mascherano (oh yes, Mascherano, more about this little bag of tricks later as well) dares to question the referee about why Torres got a yellow (again for asking why he wasn't getting any sort of protection), he gets a red card!  You know what though?  It shouldn't have been Mascherano doing the talking to the referee, it should have been Stevie G as club Captain!  Why didn't he?  I don't know.

 

A special mention here must go to Andy Grey of Sky!  Now, normally, I find him to be one of the most biased (against Liverpool) commentators around.  However, by God, when Jamie Redknapp said that the referee was right to send Masche off, I thought a fight was going to break loose!  I honestly thought Andy Grey (defending Masche) was just going to tell Jamie to shut up!  I know I wanted to!  As Mr Grey quite rightly pointed out, Masche was hardly ranting, he went to the ref with a smile on his face.  In the end he just said to Jamie, "I know, lets just remove all passion out of the game!"

 

You know, all that I could possibly accept if Ronaldo even got a single yellow for the amount of times he has fallen over a blade of grass that happened to be too long!  He has the same problem as Drogba, hit your TV with the hoover and they fall over!  Do not get me wrong, no player is a saint, but these two take diving to the next level!  The really stupid thing?  They do not need to, they are both good enough to not to have to!

 

LOL, I do not usually blog that much over the weekends.  I am usually far to busy.  However I thought I would bring this up, an internet addiction test:

 

 

Well, imagine my surprise when I scored (only - Ed) 77, now for this range it states this:

 

 

 

Lets just start with saying it's a bag of nonsense!  Some of the questions are just, quite frankly, ridiculous!  Some just state the obvious (Certainly in your case, you Internet mogul you - Ed)  (Haven't I told you to shut up at least twice already this week? - Axe Wielding Ant)

 

Yes folks, I am truely bored!  Oh well, I may have to do more blogging later be it on Jessica Lucas, Cars, Indy 4, other films, ooh GTA4 or even have another laugh at Labours expense!

 

Did I need, however, an internet addiction test to tell me what I already know?  More importantly, is it an addiction or just a natural tendancy for a human being to use what he/she has at their disposal?

 

Let me know what you think please peeps, and more importantly what score you got.

 

Cheers

Ant

Allow me to start by saying, I don't like posting political stuff on here, I do not want to upset any of my friends.  But after the disappointment on Wednesday () I had to feel better today!  LOL

 

Can I just pass my congratulations to Crewe and Nantwich constituency for helping the by-election to continue the (well deserved) dis-intergration of Labour as a political power!

 

It seems they got trounced again last night in this by-election, which handed the Conservatives there first by-election gain in 26 years!  It appears that Labour's disgusting negative tactics against the (what they called) "toff" Tory, and going into a class war, backfired with a vengence against Labour.

 

However, it wasn't this that caused the back lash.  No, it was of course Labour policies, the high prices in this country (we are not called rip-off Britain for nothing) and the fact that we actually want a political party and Prime Minister who at least gives the impression that they could manage a p**s up in a brewery!

 

So, a big well done to Crewe/Nantwich and The Conservatives.  Long may the destruction of this Labour government continue!

 

(Please do not get me wrong, but Labour have done a few good things, but on the whole they have been, quite frankly, woeful!)

Album Name - In Silico

Artist - Pendulum

Genre - Electronic

 

Track List:

 

 

In Silico - Pendulum - Album Cover

 

 

Firstly, let me tell you that most of you have probably heard Granite before (yet probably not realised it), and if you have, let me tell you that it sets the tone for the whole album.

 

Most of the songs are of a very high paced and high tempo, as those who have heard Granite would expect.  They are also of very high quality as well.

 

You know, I recently bought this album on iTunes ONLY off the strength of what I made Granite to be, a high-paced melody of Electronic dance.  And I was not disappointed!

 

Normally, I find at least one song I do not like, but on this album I can find none that I truely dislike!  Obviously there are certain songs which really do it for me, like Granite and Propane Nightmares (sorry, but it I started having nightmares about propane gas, I think I would start to question my sanity and just exactly what I was going to be doing the next day, because I am damn sure it wouldn't be gardening).

 

That fact is even more amazing since, even though I don't dislike any genre as such, with the possible exception being Rap (normally I like an entire genre but dislike certain songs, with Rap it's the other way round), from rock to dance, trance to classical, I like them all.  However, I am a fussy little bu**er!  For instance, Amy Winehouse's music and voice drives me absolutely bonkers!  It is like someone is shoving a red hot poker in my ears and having a good rummage around!  Anyways, I digress, what I am trying to get at (via Pluto) is it does not take much to make me dislike a tune.  It could be even as small as a 5 second part in a 5 minute song, but I will end up disliking it.  I cannot even put my finger on what it is!

 

Which means that a heckuvalot of songs must be pretty spot on!

 

However, for a group/artist to make an album with no songs in that I dislike at all (in fact, absolutely love) is nothing short of a miracle.  The only other group to do that is Black Lab with there Technologie album (another Rock band doing Electronic), and in fact where Black Lab are concerned, I have never heard a song by them that I have not liked!  More on that in a different review.

 

Even the great Abba have made songs that I dislike!

 

This album cost £7.99 off iTunes and is well worth the investment, excellent to train to and excellent to drive to.  (Yup, I got myself an iTrip, probably the best £40 I have spent in ages!)

 

Pendulum are usually known for there heavy beats, but this album is far more wide ranginig than just that.  Despite what iTunes says about its genre, this album mixes it a lot, from rock to electronic.

 

As usual peeps, I would suggest listening to samples, as everyone has differing taste.  I was bold (stupid?) enough to buy it on the strength of a single song, and I was not, as stated above, disappointed at all!

 

 

I have taken the liberty of finding some more nice piccies of my top 5 fave actresses (one more pic each).

 

I have added them into the album.

 

I am planning on doing some more of me in/not in the gym and classic games as well.

 

 

Thanks

Ant

I thought I would start a section in my blog about classic games and I am going to start with one of the best shoot em ups of yesteryear, ThunderForce 3 on the MegaDrive:

 

 

This game was insanely difficult (at least, I thought), but was very addictive and playable.  The graphics were astounding for the time and really showed what this little box of tricks could do when coaxed into it.

 

The most spectacular stage was the firey stage:

 

 

The whole background swirled, or waved, however you feel best describes it, as it scrolled along with plenty of enemies (or baddies, lol, if you wish) coming at you from all sides.

 

I know it doesn't sound much these days, what with things like GTA4, Oblivion etc, but that was an immensely gratifying experience to watch and play, and was highly advanced for its day.

 

The control's were nice and simple, as you would expect and hope for a game like this.  No mamby-pamby wussy stuff here, just an all-out, adrenalin rush, shoot everything, nut job of a game!  And it was absolutely relentless!

 

The action was non stop, the graphics brilliant and even the MegaDrives (even by those day standards) admittedly awful sound chip did not let proceedings down.  With numerous power-ups (and you only lost the one you were using at the time of your impending doom, of which you were guaranteed many) and the standard hit-limited shield this shoot em up (even at the time of a reasonably saturated market) brought something exciting and new to the genre.

 

The normal enemies were as numerous in design as in frequency and amount, the bosses as diverse as they were massive (a particularly impressive one for me is on the first stage, Hydra, which is a screen tall dinosaur type beast).

 

I can well recommend that if you get the chance, play this, even now!

 

For fun, I once played it with the cheat turned on, and I can tell you there is no way a cr*p gamer like me could even think about completing this game without it!  It goes completely bonkers and berzerk later on!

 

I have added photos in an album down the bottom of the page along with some other games.  All of them will be given an entry at some point and I will add some more as I go.

 

Enjoy peeps, your caring host, and resident cr*p gamer, Anthony.

 

You may have noticed that there has been no gym entry for today (and there will not be tomorrow either) due to the small issue of me being away on business, which involves a shed load of drinking (of course)!

 

However, I will not bore you with those details, but I will bore you to tears about the drive down to Dorset.

 

I left my office at 11AM yesterday morning to realise I had to go and fill my car up with diesel!  Well, I went to the local BP and it cost me around £60 for 45 litres or so!  £1.20 something a fecking litre!

 

Well that started my day right off (luckily I will get it back via expenses, but it's still shocking the prices in this country, yes a good example of rip-off Britain)!

 

Right, I started this earlier on in the day, but I am continuing this from the hotel bar!  At 22:40 at night, makes things interesting as you can imagine how I am feeling after 4 or 5 hours of drinking behind me.

 

My English is not the best at the best of times, after a fair few pints I can imagine almost slurring my typing!

 

Oh yes, the drive here!  After the initial shock of spending over £60 for just on three quarters of a tank I started the long journey South.  And boy was it long!  Over 270 miles long!  Over 6 hours!  6 hours in a car in the blazing heat!  The guy/girl who created air conditioning needs and deserves a bloody big snog!

 

The actual journey itself started off good enough, the I hit the M6.  Oh how I hate that motorway!  But it was made worse!  Allow me to give you some history on Monday, you see the week before I bought a sat nav.  Monday was the first time that I have used it.  I also took the liberty of printing off directions off Google maps which I took with me as well.

 

The sat nav started off well enough, then I realised it obviously hated the M6 as much as I did!  You see, I was on my way to Dorset, now the standard is M6, M42 and then the M40 etc, however the Sat Nav (at this point I really started to believe it did have a hatred for the M6) had other ideas and was trying its best to take me off!  It told me to take the junction onto the A500 towards Stoke!  WHAT!?!?!?  Is it mad?

 

Then it tried turning me off every junction afterwards, making me miss the junction I actually wanted!  The M42!  I need that junct.... oh sh*t!  At this point I had the choice, either use the sat nav as:

 

A) A non returning frisby out of the window

 

B) An expensive doorstop

 

or

 

C) Use it for what its meant to be

 

I chose C, and all of a sudden it told me to take the next turn off.  Okay, I will, at which point it told me to take the fourth exit off the roundabout, which I did.... right back onto the M6 north!  Right okay.  Then it happily, and far too chirply, told me I needed to drive 17 miles!  It was as if it was laughing and told me I should have listened to it in the first place.

 

Well, 17 miles later it took me onto another roundabout to take another fourth exit, M6 South bound!  ARGH!

 

Then, and this is the first time, it told me to take the turn off onto the M42!  OMG!  Is it taking the p*ss out of me completely?

 

Is this sat nav related in any way, shape or form to Janine from EastEnders?

 

Then after all that (and those motorways traffic wise, were quite okay) I hit the M27!  Now to join it you come down from a hill and I could see the road works, and even worse, in my need for the call of nature, a stationary queue of traffic for as long as I could see!  And trust me it was far enough to see the curvature of the Earth!  What a joke!

 

Anyways, I joined, cross legged at this point already, but not far was a services (if I remember rightly)!  Phew, and a nice relieved arrrrrrrr later, I discovered what had happened, some git had the nerve and audacity to break down and block one of the lanes!  Thank you!  Its your fault I almost had an "accident".

 

Anyways, eventually made it to Dorset in one piece, safe, in one piece and "dry".  The hotel I am staying at is very nice, I must say and is within spitting distance of work!  Yippee!

 

So, I have to look forward to the drive home, which I am doing after a full day, which means my journey starts at 6PM!

 

Yikes.  Until next time peeps, see ya soon!  God, I miss the gym!

Following on from:

 

Well, I warned you it may happen!

 

I have posted some piccies of me in the Gym, its down at the bottom of the page where the casual browser may not see and get to due to my incessant (and boring) rambling!  Muwahahahaha!

Firstly, I would not normally do politics on my blog, but I have to say, yippee, Labour got trounced and not before time!  You know I remember in 1997 when Labour won their first general election, at the victory party they played "Things Can Only Get Better", well I am still waiting for a lot of things to stop getting worse, never mind actually start to get better.

 

That's all I am going to say on that one, a party who becomes so arrogant deserve everything they get, and Labour certainly got the just desserts.

 

At this point I would like to make a special mention of Ken Livingston.  Not because I like him, far from it, he reminds of the classic school ground bully and sent me into a rage everytime I saw him on TV.  Oh and he introduced the congestion charge.  Why on Earth should people who already pay for use of the roads pay again?  It's a fecking disgrace.

 

Hopefully Boris Johnson will show some common sense and scrap it!

 

Anyways, I have some London friends on here, would you let me know what you think please?  Did you have a soft spot for Ken, or did he send you into a genocidal rage everytime you heard his name?  Does the thought of Boris make you ill or squeal with pleasure?

 

 

PS there is a group on FaceBook which is campaigning to make Jeremy Clarkson the next PM!  I am up for that one!

So I couldn't come down far enough to do a review of the match, yet.  I am hoping to do it tomorrow, my apologies to anyone who may be waiting for it.

 

Instead, I have decided to attempt a bit of a soapwatch jobbie, with the unsuspecting victim being EastEnders, again.  I would do Home And Away again, but right now I haven't got all year.

 

Anyways, lets start with Sean Slater and poor Gus.  Gus is the lovable guy from next door, a softie, Sean a, well, to put it politely, nutcase.

 

Sean always was a bit, how can I put this, one sandwich short of a full picnic, however, now he has completely lost the plot!  And poor Gus was at the receiving end.

 

These soaps love the bad people, don't they?  Sean Slater, Stacey Slater (although she is somewhat of a reformed character), Max Branning, Jack Branning (sleeping with his girlfriends sister?  Not necessarily a good idea at the best of times, and in EastEnders it is never the best of times), Phil Mitchell (but, again, he is becoming a reformed character), Steven Beal (I have heard what he has in store) and, of course, the Devils-daughter-in-waiting Lucy Beal!

 

Everyone in this soap seems to have some sort of skeleton in the closet (something Steven has just come out of I might add, but more on the later), even the extremely clean ones, you know the ones soooooo clean that they squeak when they walk.

 

However, Sean is on a different level, and since he started to turn more like his mother by losing it bigtime and deciding it might be a good idea to kill Gus after spending so much time pshychologically torturing the poor guy that level has gone sooooo much higher!  He was even planning on making it look like suicide!

 

Lets look back on what could have made him like this (when I say this I mean less one sandwich short than a full picnic, more an entire hamper).  Yes, thats it Tanya Branning!  At first, Sean was a bit of a ladies man, going around trying to pick up anything with a pulse and compatible body parts, then he met Tanya.

 

He fell for Tanya, and was there for her as a shoulder to cry as her marriage fell apart due to Max not being able to keep it in his pants and going after Stacey who, I might add, at the time was getting married/was married to Bradley, Max's son no less!

 

Oh what a tangled web we do weave!  Bradley done a runner after almost putting his fist through Max's face, only to be stopped by that lovable rogue Jack Branning, Max's brother (why stop him?  You dislike him almost as much as Bradley did).  And this is where the true fun begins.  After a prolonged battle and some more pshycological bullying by Max, Tanya eventually takes him back, but she has an ulteria motive, she had decided she was going to kill him.  Guess what poor mug she got to help her?  Yes thats right, Sean her then lap dog, he was the victim of love for once, just deserts some might say.  In a way I felt sorry for him, after all the women he had been with, he had found the one, who turns out to be a right little minx.  (I would like to add as a disclaimer that this sorryness only lasted approximately 5.13452 seconds, about the same amount of time it takes a fly to decide "yes I do want to fly into that cup of tea!"  YEUCK!  DAMN!  SIZZLE!  That'll teach the little git!)

 

Anyways, I digressed, again.  Where was I?  Ah yes, killing Max.  Well, yes plenty of people wanted to, and she did, almost.  Come on Tanya, you will never win the title off Sally/Leah in Home And Away if you only ever "nearly" kill your husband.  Mind you, I cannot see anyone winning that title off that tag-team, just ain't gonna happen.  Hey, theres a great idea for a Celebrity Death Match, Jack and Max Branning versus Sally and Leah from Home and Away.  Yes!  I can see it now, with Sally and Leah being pummeled (eh?  Keep it clean and stop sniggering at the back!), they pull the special move on Max and Jack (stop it!) by pulling out a wedding ring, instantaneously Max and Jack both drop dead of stroke/heart attack/head exploding/extreme diarrohea/vomitting/accidentally, brutally stabbing themselves in the stomach whilst brushing their hair (which, in Max's case is extra special, since he hardly has any, at least on his head.... OMG the visions, please go away!  Hair showing out of the bottom of his trousers, oh God no please stop the visions, ouch my eyes, no stop!......  Jessica Lucas , ah now the nasty visions have all gone, thats better!).

 

Oh yes, anyways, let me just read over what I have written..... blah, blah, blah..... blah, blah..... blah, blah, blah...., Sean, lap dog!  Thats where I am at!  Cool.  Right, yes, she drugged Max during a romantic meal for two, of course this was all planned for ages with Sean, who reluctantly I might add, went along with it.  You see, she wanted to clear Max out (surely laxatives would have had the same effect, but who am I to argue?  Oh gross thought and I had Chicken Tikka for lunch!), she wanted every last penny he had, easiest way?  Kill, kill, kill, muwahahahahaha!

 

Having previously learnt that Max's worst fear was being buried alive after a cruel joke (?) was played on him by his fathers mates, she decided she would bury him alive.  Ooh, nasty!  Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned!  She needed Sean for this.  He helped like the poor little puppy in love that he was, woof, pant, pant, pant, beg.  Good dog.

 

However, after all the trouble of finally burying the twerp, Tanya decides she cannot leave him there!  My God, make your mind up, killing someone is not like buying a pair of shoes!  She goes and gets him out.  He leaves her everything and does a runner, and tbh who could blame him?  At least he has shown some common sense in that dense skull.

 

After all this has blown over though, she gives Sean the cold shoulder!  He goes nutty, completely, like all his green bottles had accidentally fallen, all culminating in a yes/no decision about killing Gus (and all because Gus found out about his drug dealing from Gus' apartment and told one of Seans "squeezes" shall we say), luckily the now unfortunate Stacey walks in and Sean does a runner.  They eventually find him more or less sitting with his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth whilst dribbling like a baby (metaphorically speaking), at this point even someone with my astute observation abilities is able to realise something just ain't quite right with him.

 

Stacey, well, she can't half pick them!  Firstly she goes for Bradley whose father decides he wants her and can't keep his Johnson to himself, then, after a very prolonged "chase" by Steven Beal (who, apparently knows more about Lucy's fortunate (for us) escape than is letting on) finally gives in!  After a few sessions of the old medieval press-ups, Steven decides he does actually want to bat for the other side and goes after his step-uncle (Christian), who, it has to be said, previously snogged Steven (no offence meant, but I just had to turn away).  Christian spurns Steven's advances, "I am practically your uncle".  Well, Sherlock Holmes had nothing on you, did he?  Should have thought about that before snogging him and trying to persuade him he was gay before hand.

 

Steven then goes back and tells his father, the already and constantly distraught, Iain Beal that Christian tried it on with him!

 

Anyways, thats that for now, I will do another one, soon.  Hope you enjoyed this one, please leave a comment if you liked it or not!  Thanks.

 

Oh, and Ken Barlow from Corrie Street is still boring.